his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
No subtext here. People are naked.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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