Got a toothbrush?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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