She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
