So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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