I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
