operation have a gay friend backfired
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Vodka?
Forever.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
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