I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
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