So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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