How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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