bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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