The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
