honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
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Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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