Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
