I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
