am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
