i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
