I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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