I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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