I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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