I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
