I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
