There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize