I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
