The brown eye won't let me do that either.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
