and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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