You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize