I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
