remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
