Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Randomize
