..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
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Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
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She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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