So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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