I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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