So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
