laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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