idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
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Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
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You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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