Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
