is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
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She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
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He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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