Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize