before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
