yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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