I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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