If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
