I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
