my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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