dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
