oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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