I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
