Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
