Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize