Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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