my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
