it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
