it glows. i had to have it.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
