I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Randomize
