Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
