I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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