can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
